Hate to Love you

I can honestly say
I don't love anyone
at the moment

Or so I thought...

I thought I don't love you
I thought I never did
Yet how can I be so afraid of losing you
thou you aren't even mine?
How can I be so jealous?

Thou there's no way I'm ever gonna say it out loud...
For at the moment
I'm so mad at you I feel like I never wanna see you
ever again

Thou that's not really the truth
is it?

Every step takes us closer to the grave

It's really funny
how you can make me cry
thou you didn't even do anything wrong

For it was I who did
it was I who gave up
and I'm never going to get a fresh start

I wish you all the best
for I don't know how long will I be around

I'm already dying...

The voices in my head keep telling me...

I feel like dying

I never feel happy with my reflection
it's as if it keeps mocking me
every day for the rest of my life
unless I do something about it

Ugly...

I just ran two rounds around the sports stadium
I was suposed to run five
I feel like a failure

Fat...

My friends are the most amazing people in my life
and the most beautiful in my eyes
to me, they are perfect
I wish to be like them

Misfit...

My mom expects a lot of me
I've always tried to keep up to her expectations
and for what reason?
so I could feel less and less of myself
for not living life the way I want

Useless...

I've hurt my self more than is healthy
I've cut my arms just to feel the pain
and to know that I'm alive

Cry Baby...

I want people to notice me
yet not to pay too much attention to me
I just want to belong

Drama Queen...

I feel like I'm talking to empty walls
nobody's listening
I hate my life
I'm ready to give up

Never Good Enough..!

Humans = Plants

There are lots and lots of bad things in the world
There's not much anyone can do about that

Shit happens
and will happen
All we can do
is try to hang in there.

Everyone has some times when they wish
they could forget something they've done
or something that someone's done to them.

But in reality
you don't need to forget.
You just have to push those things aside
until you're strong enough
to deal with them
and face them head on.

Hardships make us grow as human.
If your whole life would be
dancing on roses
you'd never really appreciate the good times
and you'd never grow much of a character.

For humans are like plants;
they need lots of love and care,
basic nutritions and water,
but they grow better
after you throw a bag of shit at them.

My Sadistic way of Love

Do you know the feeling
when you love someone so much
that you start to hate them?

I feel that way towards you.

I can't stand you
but at the same time
I want to hold you close
and tell everyone that you are mine.

But I can't,
for you are not mine.
Maybe I could have you if I told you
"I want you"

But I won't,
because I hate you.
I want to beat you up until you can't breath.
I want to break you apart,
so I could heal you up again
and love you after I do.

You have ruined me,
for making me fall in love with you.
For that I hate you.

I don't want anyone else to touch you.
I want to kill you
so I could have you all for myself...

Forever...

Love or Hate?

Do you believe in love?
If you don't, can you fall in love?
Will love follow you, even if you give it up?

Do you love?
If you do, do you hide it?
Why?
Does love need to be hidden?
Is your love forbidden?

Do you fear love?
What are you afraid of?
Why is it so terrifying?

Is it really love you fear...
...or loss?


Do you believe in anger?
If you don't, can you still get angry?
Can people hate you, even if you don't believe in it?

Do you hate?
If you do, what do you hate exactly?
Do you need the hatered?
Are you mad all the time?
Why?

Are you hated?
Do you hate the world...
...or does it feel like the world hates you?

If you hate the world...
...the world will only reflect your own emotions.

Doll

"Anyone out there?
 Can you hear me?
 Hello..?"

There's a white figure in the corner, reclined to the wall...
 A dark-red, frilly dress is ripped apart, it's barely keeping it's place.
 She looks as if she's hurt, but there is no blood.

"Can someone help me?
 Please?
 I won't hurt you,
 someone just, please, help me get up..."

Her knees look weird, twisted. Kinda of place.
 There is no way she could ever stand again.
 Nor walk.
 Her eyes look empty.
 She's been crying for long, till she no longer had tears to shed.

"Is anyone out there?
 Please, help me..!
 I'm so cold...
 I don't want to be alone... please..."

Her eyes close.
 I can no longer hear her moving.
 She's stopped breathing. Or did she ever take even a breath?
 She falls to the floor. Clattering...

Shattered, she lies on the floor.
 Her left hand is parted from the rest of the body.
 There are cracks all over her beautiful face.
 She is broken and beyond repair...

Who's to blame?
Who broke her apart?